The Official Site of Al Simmons

30 New Works Published in 25 Magazines, Since 1/1/2017



God Helps Those Who Edit, Published in Punk Monk, November 2023 

 

A couple of months ago I began collecting my Union Pension Retirement Benefits. 

Funny thing is I don’t belong to a union.  

I’ll tell you what aroma therapy is, sitting on my balcony on a late autumn afternoon next to a Sensemia plant in full bloom.  With pipe in hand I think of all the things I could do if I wasn’t so stoned.  

So much energy goes into making a poem I’m surprised sometimes they don’t explode.   


                                                                        ***


People Dropping Dead In The Mall Parking Lot, 1st appearing in Abyss & Apex, Nominated for a SFPA 2020 Rhysling Award 

 

I passed three dead bodies in the mall parking lot, people dropped dead from extreme heat.  Seniors were the first to go.  Flies don’t drop like old folks do.  Damn flies swat old people down when it gets this hot.  Flies thrive and feast in this regulation free, business friendly environment.  You see I-Fly Storage Bins popping up like gas stations to store all the meat, cold as tombstones, blending into the landscape by resembling abandoned cars.  Over-weight people were next. 

 

Short people did better because they require less food and water.  They called themselves Darwin babies.  Go small.  Heat doesn’t bother them as much.  Burners danced while the pink bone types wasted away underground for fear they’d drop dead in the sun or drag a brown spot back down with them, and do a slow rot dance subsisting on microwave popcorn by the TV.  An opportunity economy for street cleaners and deep earth drillers.  No fear of flooding for the next ten thousand years, unless it rains.  Go underground. 

 

Day glow skin took fashion back to the streets. A mall of flames.  The fall of deniers.  Fire dancers of light.  Spontaneous combustion people.  A burning earth demonstration drags birds from the sky every day around noon, only at Sunshine Chicken. 

 

A few old world survivors can be found nesting beneath fog patched micro-climates found scattered along northern coastal strips.  Flash floods led to short term palisades worth defending.  Worldwide drought and the Great Desalination Project.  Too bad it failed.  The war got crazy when the food ran out.  We called it destiny’s holy famine, spa and paradise, featuring the band, I could fry an egg on your head if you had one.  Long name for a band, but I liked their music, Holopunk, with a suicide Brahms hot brass section.

 


                                                                    ***



A History of DreamsFrom Placeholder Magazine (placeholder.com), 2 poems



A breathing bed.

No one likes a fearless foe.

Must be legal.

You want to be who you are.

Decimated like most of the world.

Lives to grow. 

I won’t feel bad but you might. 

Changes with the times,

until they went public. 

They call it time control. 

Digitalization means you can live forever. 

The bed becomes you in the end. 

When we were insects

super heroes fell from trees. 

What percentage of the universe are you now?

What is your quotient?

The moment marble turns to clay.

When stillness, that moment. 

When the trees become me.

When I fall.

You get to be who you are

if you’re lucky.  


                                                          ***


Big Foot Chips and Other Food Crimes


Half of what is sold today

     as packaged food

should be against the law.

 

I had a taste for guacamole

and whipped some up.

I don’t usually eat corn chips

but I bought some. 

 

The result,

my feet swelled up

from the salt.  You are

what you eat.

I ate Big Foot.  



                                                    ***



World War V, published in San Fedele Press, Art in the Age of Covid-19


How we won the war.  The City of Oakland
declared a State of Emergency before
a single case of the Coronavirus was reported.
A hard rain has been coming down for days
but don’t touch your nose. 
I ran to the store between downpours, but
mostly just to get out of the house.
There were lines outside to get into Trader Joes. 
All seven Bay Area counties
where I live
have been ordered to self-quarantine  
for three weeks, lock down, Little Wuhan, CA. 
No gatherings.  Stay home.  All
non-essential businesses to close,
meaning fast food joints, and restaurants,
all businesses except supermarkets and drugstores. 
Safeway Foods is hiring 2000 people. 
But I can still walk the beach,
like I do every day, unless it rains. 
I'll try shopping for food tomorrow
and more toilet paper. 
They say, stocking up on paper products
helps prevent virus. 
I placed paper towels on the floor
in the house everywhere I walk. 
I'm covering surfaces with paper towels,
laying my trap.  And then,
with a storm raging outside
I spring open the patio door at the sight
of lightning cracking, thunder roaring
and the fierce winds driving the storm
sweeps into my rooms and blow the paper towels
all over the place,
and I have to start over.  The virus, if around,
die from the chaos and confusion. 

Proven Viral Warfare Chaos Theory. 


                                                               ***


All God’s Terrible Children, Published in The Sum Journal.com              

When God finally returned to Earth He appeared in Rome first, but wasn’t well received there wandering around the Basilica and the Vatican amidst all of the security details checking people’s passports and papers.  What did God know of passports and papers? 
So, He left Rome, and decided He’d take a walk across the Mediterranean Sea to Israel, instead.  Home sweet home.  He marched right up to its ancient shore and sighed nostalgic, because Israel had been His homeland for thirty-three years last time around, even if it didn’t go entirely well.  As He approached the beach of his native land He realized Israel was the true center of the universe. 
He took his time riding the waves crossing the sea, so many days deep in thought He lost count.  The last time He sailed the sea He was a fisherman, despite being an educated man known to attract a crowd and deliver a sermon.  He was a rabbi and teacher who taught children reading and writing, adding and subtracting, eating kosher, the Old Testament and the ways of God. 
Be like God, He preached. 
This time He will take a different tact.  Two thousand years in the wilderness exploring deep space taught him a thing or two, patience befitting a God, for one thing, and the acquired wisdom of old age. 
He viewed the beach from a wave’s crest during high tide in a rising sea, and waited there for His people to arrive and congregate.  They did, too.  Muslim, Christian and Jew came out in droves, traveling overland on foot, skateboard, scooter, train, car, boat, motorcycle, helicopter, plane, and truck, too.  This time He had a plan, and will not be denied.  No more winging it, with a hope and a prayer.   
The sea spray cast a blue halo around Him, and made Him look as Venus, Goddess of Love once appeared, but without the half shell.  The sea was loud and green, and white foam topped waves smacked the shore.  The winds cooled the day with a mint sea breeze.  Thick cumulus clouds, rich in thunder and lightning, packed tight in a gathering sky, rumbled and moved forming dramatic shafts for the sun to beam down light for Him to bathe in, magnificent and majestic for the King He is.   
Throngs of people drawn to the joyous occasion amassed on the beach and stood gazing at Him in awe, for He appeared in the likeness of anyone who looked at Him, every man, woman, child, bird and beast.  Because all eyes are the eyes of God and not the other way around.  How clever a gesture to play on human vanity, so entertaining the ploy, and served to hide God’s own vanity, and how he has aged over the centuries.  The sea foam lit bright as fire radiating around Him like the sun, and forced the crowd to shade their eyes and embrace His love they all felt and shared, with the slightest trembling of fear, for they stood in the presence of God. 
There was music booming from nowhere anyone could determine, the brass joyful trumpeting sounds of Louie Prima and Satchmo trading riffs in the roots New Orleans jazz style.  Some heard shades of Gabrielle in the harmonies.  Angels joined the chorus. 
And then, the Heavens quieted, and God rose to speak, and delivered these words:  “Thank you for coming out today.  I am here to say how much God loves you and to assure you that life exists here on Earth and nowhere else in the universe.  For you are the life.  You are my chosen ones, God’s children.   
“Each one of you, young and old, male and female, red, green, brown, gold and blue are the universe.  The universe resides within each one of you, as much as it resides within me.  Despite the five trillion galaxies in the known universe, each with their trillions of stars, and gazillion planets and moons circling them.  Life as you know it, and experience every day, exists here on Earth, and nowhere else.  You beat the odds and won the lottery.  You are the one in the megazillion, and the prize is eight billion lives and counting. 
“There’s nothing out there, I’ve checked it out, so don’t waste your time and precious resources.  Don’t bother yourselves.  Believe me, I know.  I’m God.  I know what I’m talking about.  This is the life, right here.  This is it.  The universe is empty, endless, barren space, inhabited by fire, gas and dust, and my dreary home for the past two thousand years.  I could have moved to Arizona and saved myself the trouble.  But, I missed Earth, and now I am back. 
“Earth is my one single great achievement.  If you continue to prosper and swell in numbers I may consider expanding to a second planet.  But, until then, there is only one Earth, one home. 
“So, love thy neighbor, honor thyself, and take good care.  Thank you for your time.  Good day.”
No one believed a word He said.  They liked how He appeared in the likeness of each one of them, all at the same time, and wondered how He pulled off such a feat.  They thought the whole visual presentation was impressive, God standing on a wave and holding his position despite the movements of the sea, the halo of sea spray, and the magnificent shafts of light from the sun supplying glorious stage lighting from heaven.  But no one cared much for the message.  Instead, the crowd moved anxiously about not knowing what to think.  Was he for real?  Because, life is about life, not fire and dust.  Who cares about the truth?  What about redemption?  No one bought the part about being alone in the universe for a second.   
And then, as a rainbow evaporates in a dewy sky left behind from a storm, He disappeared, and was gone.  The music stopped playing and the crowds broke up.  Everyone went home feeling uneasy with God back… if He was indeed, God.  He’d have to show them more.  What about immortality?  He never said a word about saving souls, life after death, or divine eternity in heaven.  Many of His followers, and non-followers alike, pondered and thought, “What kind of God is that?”  “Did He say He no longer lived in heaven?” 
And, God thought, “What kind of children have I given rise to?  They don’t believe me.  Still, they will be talking about this one for years.” 
God didn’t own a TV set, never watched the news, and didn’t care.  He had his own problems.  He actually had many Earths, planets, proto-planets, and moons galore, billions, in fact.  So many problems.  So many worlds.  So many mouths to feed and rooms to furnish.  What was a God to do?  Live and learn was giving God gray hair. 

And God thought, but never said, “Maybe, I’ll add another life form.  But still, look how they have multiplied.”  


                                                          ***


Synthetic Water Last Seen Faking Jet Streams, Published by 42 Word Story Anthology, 5/8/19

They agreed on a final agenda, to write the best Sci-fi novel possible before civilization collapses, so they can spend their end times doomed to painting wall murals, while living high off the royalties in a cave, starving to death in Utah. 



                                                                  ***





Space X, Published 2/4/19, by Genre: Urban Arts.com                                    

The mysterious radio signals recently discovered by The South African Radio Astronomy Observatory (SARAO), with the use of the Aussie Square Kilometre Array Pathfinder Radio Telescope, commonly known as the ASKAP, cites the exact origin of the signal as unknown, but evidence suggests they are coming from within the galaxy core, approximately 3.7 million light years away.  The message was decoded and translated into English by scientists at the Space Center Listen Group, an initiative to search for intelligent life in the universe.  

They released their translated version of the message as follows, “Greetings live ones, although if you have the technology to receive this message you are probably dead, nearing exhaustion, death and destruction, and doomed to extinction.  High tech consumer societies expire once they exhaust resources, as they do.  But, who knows, you may be the lucky ones.  Here are the numbers, ninety-nine out of a hundred fail.  Yes, many try.  You are not alone.  Evolution is homogenous and life is everywhere.  This message is coming from the best of the best, the fortunate few who have survived.  Here is our advice.  Be frugal and don’t eat so much.  Most societies outgrow their ability to feed themselves.  Try not to implode.  Less greed helps slow self-destruction.  

 

                                                            ~ 

 

There are several more translations of the radio signal picked up by SARAO.  Berkeley SETI Research Center, and Principal Investigator on Space Center Listen, offered this translated version as a public service announcement, and warning: “Greetings, fellow fishermen.  If you are trawling for delicacies and got a taste for BBQ, or deep fried breaded crab legs, (or did they say man legs), we’re getting reports they found the eastern quadrants are teaming with stock, and easy to net.  Might be worth the extra time and distance.” 

 

                                                            ~ 

 

A third wave translation came from volunteer star gazer’s group, Kepler’s Off Planet Home Hunters.  They offered this distress signal version, “Greetings, citizens of the universe.  Anyone out there?  We are from the planet Hoq, twelfth sister to the 10th brother planet Orion, Home of the Gods, Milky Way Galaxy.  Records say we crashed here a thousand generations ago and have forgotten the world we came from.  Planet Hoq survivors calling home; we fixed the radio.  Do you read me?  Are you still there?  We won the war.  We are now good for another thousand generations, if we can just get along.  Were we always this way?  We are stranded on a planet without fossil memory.  How far can an intelligent race born of culture go without a history and solid knowledge from where we came?  We advanced from where?  What is the basis for our folk music?  Can we be the only radio station broadcasting in the universe?  I refuse to believe so.  I know we’ve got competition and a listening public out there.  I can feel you.  What are you up to?  Descendants of Hoq, or anyone else, say hello.  Say something.  Let’s talk.”    



                                                               ***



She Called Them Hidden Colors, Published at Rune Bear Magazine, @runebearmag.com, 11/28/2018  

My girlfriend, Ansa, lives on Phaedra, Neptune’s moon, and sometimes we go out for a ride, for the fun of it.  There’s so much going on in the Kuiper regions, especially if you like racing like we do.  Ansa is a daredevil.  I’m more the mechanic type who respects stress loads and gravitational pull to avoid road obstacles without destroying my ride.  Crunch numbers, not fenders, my motto.  

Ansa and I are complete opposites, but also what attracts us, right.  We were out last night.  Ansa suggested we buzz the sun, so we took off.  I should have checked the tank first before we left.  Three planets out, I noticed the fuel gauge getting low, so we changed our plans.  Ansa had the controls.  I was sitting shotgun, reading gas gauges, in charge of loony tunes and enjoying the scenery.  Have you ever been to Earth?  I don’t care much for atmospheres, for cruising, too much drag.  I like to move.  But, Ansa had to show me Earth’s hidden colors, she called them, so we went in.  I was impressed, too.  Earth’s not just blue.  I like green.  

And then, out of nowhere a couple locals showed up checking us out.  Earth has locals, too.  Who knew?  Scared the heck out of us.  Their screaming rides with the wings and fiery jets were so loud I had to wonder how they snuck up on us in the first place, and how they avoid blowing up shaking like they do.  

The locals were armed, too.  Ansa almost hit one.  Pretty nuts.  We got out of there before we got into trouble.  But, one of these days, Ansa is gonna get us both killed. 

 

 



                                                                  ***


This Grey Day, From Echo Literary Magazine at echoliterarymagazine.com

I ran into the bank thief who robbed the Wells Fargo Bank in the mall today.  The fog never burned off this morning, but instead pulled a double shift and became an overcast gray cloudy day.  I dragged myself out the door hoping a little sunshine might wake me up, but for what purpose I had yet to decide.  Happiness is a low overhead, and never having to be anywhere unless you need to eat.  

Winter is the most unnatural season, gray as the day is gray, season of happy grayness and gloom.  They called it the Season of Lights because you have to turn on the lights to see, or live in darkness.  Turn on the light.  I am as busy as a man with nothing to do.  

Released from the void of my luxury rooms into the wild, I inhaled fresh air for the first time today.  I looked up and smelled the gray clouds overhead, sensed there was a festival in the air, in the sun and fog across the bay, in the rapture.  

As I stepped into the great gray beyond I considered winter made more sense to me when sick.  Fog rolled into my lungs in like a hostile corporate takeover by mid-level battery powered implants.  To the west, gray sand pipers picked away in the gray surf hunting silver fish gone gray.  

I pulled the door locked shut behind me, wandered down the front stairs and stepped out into the squalid grayness spilling over onto Dream Street.  I rent on Dream Street just so I can say I live on Dream Street, with street signs in shades of bleeding gray and white.  

Across the street, occupying the long, single-story, two-toned, gray building is a nursing home for gray people, where I vote.  I do more than just live here, I vote.  I walked to the corner and crossed the street, and walked up Dream Place to the mall, a block away.  I also live here for the convenience.  I have a convenience store the size of a mall around the corner from my place on Dream Street. 

The shapeshifters loitering in front of the recycling station eyed me suspiciously as I passed their holy temple of waste, a Reinvent the Earth recycling shack painted gunmetal gray, with windows signaling open for business.  You toss in spent aluminum soda and beer cans and empty plastic bottles and the window spits back coins.  

The shapeshifters stand in line with their Great Recession plastic bags filled with empty bottles and soda cans.  One minute the shapeshifters are tall, mulling their futures based on current valuations of recycled returns.  Their labors picking garbage in the gig economy was about to pay off.  

And, the next minute they were small again, spent of energy, hung over, back living on the street and burnt from over-exposure to the sun.  Shapeshifters don’t rise and fall so much as swell and shrink.  The streets of America were paved with aluminum cans, cheap beer bottles and plastic trash.  

I sniffed the clean ocean air blowing in off the bay a couple blocks to the west, beyond the soured stale beer slop and soda syrup stink emanating from the temple of recycled heart attacks.  I heard the tinkle of breaking glass being ground back into sand, the crushed aluminum cans converted into spare change.  And beyond, the noise of the roaring sea crashing the surf on the sunless beach a moment’s stride away to the west as the seabird flies luring me with the bay’s melodic gray sounds.  

I emerged from my sanctuary to fine nature and industry intermingling at my doorstep, ancient competitors quietly sizing each other up, mulling a no man’s land in gray asphalt and cement poised to whack me in the face like a mythical stretch of empty parking spaces.  

I strolled along the pavements binding the palisades of progress, and cast a wayfarer’s practiced eye over ribbons of concrete sidewalks connecting Dress for Less and OfficeMax, the remains of yesterday written in receipts, dead scraps of paper littering the parking spots of future customers with more calls for reusable shopping bags, the fog of destiny in twisted bedlam, joy and Armageddon steeped in retail sales projections and hard numbers.  

I passed the mighty Kohl’s Department Store on my right, on my way up the block to Trader Joe’s and the lure of bananas at nineteen cents apiece.  A large black service van of extraordinary proportions, and unknown origin, double-parked adjacent to the service area entrance blocking my way as I approached Applebee’s Bar & Grill.  The van also blocked traffic and was unmarked except for a five digit serial number printed in large white numbers behind the right rear wheel designating a short-term rental fleet vehicle parked in the mall’s receiving area, and forcing me to detour around it.  

I’m heads up looking both ways and deciding how best to navigate around this enormous van without getting run over by a passing vehicle, when I noticed the van’s rear hinged door open and expose it’s lone inhabitant.  I watched him inside standing in the aisle between the built-in racks lining both left and right interior walls of the long, multi-use, storage van.  The sunlight hitting the windshield behind him made him appear like a silhouette in gray of a man looking my way.  His face was awash in gray shadows, featureless and blending in with the van’s steel shell interior housing. 

 Either he wasn’t paying attention to me, or was satisfied I appeared no threat, he raised his shirt and pulled a long barreled pistol from his waistband and stashed it in a drawer behind the driver’s seat.  

As I drew closer to the service van, walking straight ahead instead of navigating around him into traffic, the man inside came over and appeared at the rear door of the van to check me out.  He peered down at me from his perch several feet above the pavement, I assumed wondering if I saw him stash his gun.  And, what if I did?  

He looked to be in his mid-to-late twenties, mixed blood with almond brown skin, medium height, about my size and slim like myself when I was his age.  He wore black jeans, a long-sleeved tee-shirt with a green military camouflage pattern, a yellow striped nylon vest several sizes too large, the kind construction workers wear to avoid getting hit by cars while working in traffic, a baseball cap worn backwards, shades, and black running shoes.  

I sensed trouble, and avoided eye contact, and kept walking.  Guns make me nervous, and what did we have to talk about, anyway?  Rob any banks today?  You packing?  Was that a gun I saw you hiding there?  Can I see it?  

A feeling something wasn’t right crept over me, and I thought about calling the cops.  If I had a cell phone I might have, too, but I didn’t owned one, and hadn’t in years, so I kept walking.  And, where can you find a pay phone when you need one, these days?  

I didn’t know it at the time, but moments earlier, the guy in the van stuck up the Wells Fargo Bank across the parking lot from Trader Joe’s.  The local paper ran the story and posted a photo of the kid in the van standing before the bank teller with a phone number who to call with information printed below his image.  There was no mention of a reward.  I called anyway, out of civic duty, because in fish heaven sharks eat fishing boats, and we can’t have these guys coming around brandishing guns and sticking up banks in the neighborhood.  

I spoke with Special Agent, Richard Santos, FBI, San Francisco Station, and asked if there was a reward.  He laughed, like what planet did I think I was on?  And then, he asked, “So, all we have to do is locate whose van that was?” 

“That’s what I think,” I said, adding, “I figured he was hired help on the truck, a trainee learning the route, perhaps, still wearing street clothes instead of a uniform with company logos.  Maybe he stole the van and worked alone, but more likely, his boss, the driver, told him to hold the fort while he did some business inside.  And then, once his superior left he crossed the parking lot, held up the bank, and then hid out in the van until his boss returned.  And, that’s how he got off the island without getting caught.”    




 Enough with the Baby Talk 

 

Suddenly, I am surrounded

by four neighbors with new babies,

and its summertime, a perfect day

for showing off your kid.

 

But, who can remember all the baby names?

Or, even the parents’ names?

They come and go, these neighbors,

renters of the new millennia,

current crop of family makers

and their first birthing’s, two boys and two girls.

 

The babies cry, but what do they have to

cry about with all the attention they receive?

Maybe they watch the news all day

and are convinced they want no part of the world

they’ve been born into.

 

The parents summon their highest octaves

to speak to their babies.  They

don’t actually speak words, more like

they trill, coo, make gurgling baby noises

mimicking whatever baby has to say, 

making baby small talk. 

 

The old gentleman next door takes care of

his nine month old grandson.

He gets in his grandson’s tiny baby face

and squeals like a loon, screeches,

blubbers, snorts and giggles,

anything to amuse his grandkid who

he is in charge of.  The baby’s mother,

father and grandma all work paying jobs. 

 

The lady downstairs, also

a grandparent, sings to her daughter’s baby girl

of sixteen months, and 

the baby girl sings right back. 

 

The prettiest of this new generation,

the blond baby girl next door,

cries and cries, night and day. 

Six months old

and already

nothing can please her. 

 

And, two units over on my left is the 4th kid, who is

two years old, and not so terrible.

Cute kid, calls out hello

to anyone passing his window.

 

They are all cute, but together

they make a lot of noise. 

I should not complain.  We all

have to live.  But still,

 

I put my book down, get up

from my lounge chair overlooking the garden

where these neighbors have gathered to talk

and exchange greetings, step inside

 

my living room, turn

up the stereo tuned to straight ahead jazz,

and listen to my jubilant neighbors go silent,

and flutter away like birds

and the scattering of leaves

in the wind. 

                                   



***







Call Me Sherlock, 2 poems appearing in Writing Good Poetry Newsletter, https://writinggoodpoetrynewsletter.wordpress.com/

I was sitting at my desk in my studio late in the evening when the phone rang.  A robocall from The City.  An 85 year-old Mandarin man with dementia was reported lost.  Didn't speak a word of English, wearing an orange jacket and walking with a cane.   

I thought a second and recalled I walked right past him earlier in the day on Shoreline and Willow Street by the beach around 4 pm this afternoon.  He smiled as I walked by.  I remembered thinking at the time he looked like he was waiting for someone… to find him, no doubt.  I phoned 911.  The woman who picked up sounded concerned, worried, and thrilled to hear my lead.  Their robocall alert got blocked on half the island, and they feared the old guy might have gone up Park Street and crossed the bridge into Oakland’s Chinatown.  And then what? I thought.  I waited, but she didn’t say.  

An hour later, I heard the sirens down by the beach where I told them the old guy might be.  And after midnight, at 12:20 am, I got another call from The City.  A delicate, sweet woman’s voice delivered the message, also Mandarin from the sound of her.  They found him.  She thanked me for my assistance in English so broken I could barely make her out.  “Mr. Ho Fun found,” she said.  

I leaned back in my black leather high back chair and took up my pipe like Sherlock Holmes, and considered The Mystery of the Missing Mandarin Man closed.  I lit my pipe and took a deep draw and reflected upon the achievement.  Mr. Ho Fun found, a minor matter in the greater scheme of things, but not so, I’ll wager, for the Ho Fun family.  And, I resolved the case without having to leave my desk.    






                                                                        ***




Ash and Stone

I will miss fruit smoothies when I’m dead.

Be the spirit your descendants pray to years from now.

A soul ascends, not milky white, more like dry ice.

What are souls made out of, anyway?  Atoms?  Some

kind of spirit energy, dark energy, or, something else?

Adams, perhaps?  Matter or anti-matter?

Or, does it matter?  Sure, it does.  Everything matters. 

Do souls get colds and flu, cloud up like glue and

ghost their way back home to heaven hung over

after a difficult passing and troubled departure?

What did we see, and what rose like a misty sea

engulfing us graveside,

shovels in hand, beneath a late morning sun? 

Spirit semen, dream ash, fog of silk, smoke of life,

milk of death, longing regret never satisfied and

passed down from generation to generation

like a gold watch turned smoky white?

Energy, matter, or anti-matter?

Human souls who have walked this Earth now

number seventy billion.  No one survived,

and yet we all want to go where they went, only better. 

Heaven must be a crowded place. 

The human brain resembles the universe,

on a scale of one synapse per galaxy, floating

in the closed empty space inside my head, and

dreaming about merging with other galaxies.

Would my brain capacity double then? 

Would such a merger enlighten us, at long last?

Is that what happened last time?

    

                                                               ***




Theater Recluses


They never leave.

Dress rehearsal in an hour.

The stage is the cage where dreams battle

to become more ludicrous than you.

We received our daily lines backstage. 

The band sat up awaiting direction.

Tickets sold.  The lights came down.

The curtains rose.

Makeup people, costume people,

stage craft technicians, directors, management, all took bows.

Where were the actors?

What happened to the play?

Security let us in the backdoor.

She played the recluse in Shakespeare’s

The Recluse.

Behind closed doors the curtain came down.

The band played their hearts out.

The dancers?  Where were the dancers?

In times like these we stand together

and sing as one.

In the old days, no one left the theater.

No one got stuck in traffic.

Today, all the world is a freeway,

and the actors commute.

Artists, actors, singers, poets, musicians, dancers

need to declare

once and for all, recluse yourself,

never leave.  



                                                            ***






The Last Time I Saw Howser, Published in Your Impossible Voice Magazine Issue 14, 2017.  See at yourimpossiblevoice.com   
         

The last time I saw Howser was at Pauli Pratt’s new flat on Fat Street, just west of Broadway, a couple blocks inland from the lake, in East Rogers Park, on the far North side of the city.  Howser’s girlfriend left him and for some reason he blamed me.  I had a six-pack under my arm and offered him a beer.  He reached into the side pocket of his loose fitting, black leather car coat and pulled a knife and said, “I think you should leave before I do this to you,” and stabbed the belly of an empty cardboard moving box stacked by the door waiting to be taken to the garbage, and then he gave the blade a twist for emphasis. 
“OK,” I said, took my six-pack, less a beer I gave Pauli, and left Pauli Pratt’s new flat, while Pauli Pratt sat watching our exchange wide-eyed from the far end of the room.  Pauli finally moved out of his parent’s apartment where he grew up, in Albany Park, and this is how he celebrated his first day at his new residence.  Pauli sat there and never said a word.  Once the egg is cracked.  Congratulations, welcome to the world.   
Howser was a junkie and a thief for as long as I’d known him, possibly a killer, though he never robbed me until recently.  Howser and I used to be good friends.  We go back to the days of Ed Dorn’s creative writing workshop when we shared editorial responsibilities for Stone Wind Magazine, our college sponsored literary rag and winner of two Illinois Arts Council Awards for editions issued on my watch.  I introduced Howser to Amelia, his now ex-girlfriend.  She was another under-aged waitress I knew from working at The Kingston Mines.  She approached me at Howser’s reading at the Body Politic and asked if I could introduce her?  “You scored a groupie,” I told Howser, “and she is a cutie.  She said to tell you she’s yours for the night if you want her.” 
We took Ami along to the after-reading party where Howser got paid.  Perhaps, had they paid Howser by check he might have stuck around but with cash in his pocket he asked me to look after Ami for him and he took off to score.  The party was at a third story walk-up apartment.  Amelia followed me out to the back porch.  There were no chairs or anything to sit on so we slid down to the boards and used the redbrick building wall to lean back against.  I lit a joint and we passed it back and forth.  We sat side by side, the full moon rising in the night sky before us.  I slid my hand up her thigh.  She caught my wrist and covered my hand in hers, and said, “What about Howser?”  I smiled, what about him?  I said, OK.  We finished our smoke and then I drove her home. 
A couple of days later she moved in with Howser and he taught her how to write poetry.  They were quite the couple while it lasted.  Amelia’s new poems sounded like a female Howser.  And then, one day she left him flat, just like that.  Howser thought she was kidding and refused to accept it was over, they were so in love, at least he thought so, and pleaded with her to return.  She refused.  Amelia began phoning Howser each time she climbed into bed with someone so he could hear for himself and believe his own ears.  Amelia liked to bop about and probably thought she could do better than living in the basement of Howser’s mother’s home, on the Northwest side of the city in an old Polish Catholic neighborhood, without a private kitchen, or bath.  “Four feet under,” as Howser called it before he met Amelia. 
Howser tried to hang himself.  He showed me the rope burns on his neck.  He complained, “The basement ceiling was too low.  I kicked the chair out from under me and landed on my toes and hung there unable to die.”   So, he cut off his nose instead.  I don’t know where he thought that would get him.  He was a good-looking guy, tall, slim, handsome, articulate, and even regal in that junkie sort of way.  He submitted to circumcision at age 23; he developed warts.  He was 30 when he lost his nose.  Howser needed someone to blame for losing Amelia so he chose me. 
“At the time, I thought I was doing you a favor,” I reminded Howser, “I told you when I introduced her she was a groupie, a cute fuck who would like you to take her home for the night.    She didn’t ask to be taken home to marry.”  Howser refused to remember.  I asked him, “What did I do other than introduce you?”  Again, he gave no answer, but insinuated I did something.  “Like what?”  He wouldn’t say, and instead tried to stare me down.  “Go fuck yourself.”
Amelia left him because Howser never had any money, didn’t work and seldom left the house.  He lived the life of a guard dog in the basement of his mother’s house, protecting the property, got high and wrote poetry.  His characters were inanimate objects found in his surroundings.  He spoke to his phone, not on it.  His phone spoke to him.  He lived partially submerged beneath the soil among the dead and half-dead.  His previous girlfriend, Nell, since high school, danced at a Rush Street strip joint and kept him in money and drugs for all those years she lived there until she moved on for whatever reason and Howser was left to survive on beer money his mother threw at him, and whatever he managed to pick up on the street, stealing, robbing homes, or by moving a bag or two. 
Howser’s real problem with me had nothing to do with Amelia.  Howser wanted my job at the Arts Council, and thought he deserved it, too.  Richard Friedman published Howser’s first book, and considered Howser his best writer on his Yellow Press publishing list.  Howser, in turn, thought he deserved the call from Friedman before me.  “Friedman phoned me,” I reminded Howser, “I didn’t call him. What did you expect me to do turn it down?  I got rent to pay.”  Howser never considered that maybe threatening to throw Richard Friedman out of a speeding car during our three man cross-country reading tour last spring may have caused Friedman to think twice before offering Howser a job.  Richard Friedman gesticulated wildly when he spoke.  He had wild blue eyes, dirty blond hair with a cowlick, and a face full of bleeding pimples and herpes pus.  He was a straight-arrow button down know-nothing fool, insulting and obnoxious in every way and ways you can’t imagine, arrogant, square, an academic from the suburbs.  Friedman didn’t drink, do drugs or smoke tobacco, and never smoked a joint in his life.  Friedman invited Howser along on his reading tour to lend credibility to himself and help promote Yellow Press Books.  But, Howser refused to travel alone with Friedman, and asked me along as a personal favor, and in return offered I could read with them in Bolinas, California, at the end of the tour.  A free ride to the west coast in the springtime sounded like a good idea to me, so I went along. 
Friedman and Howser rubbed each other wrong from the start.  Friedman was easy to dislike.  He’d ask questions like, “What makes you guys so cool?  I don’t get it?” 
“How do you answer a question like that?” Howser asked me. 
“With patience,” I chuckled.  Friedman was such a creep he was amusing.  We were driving a dark blue, late model Ford Comet sedan Friedman arranged for the trip from a car-transport company, oil and fuel expenses included.  “We try not to insult each other every time we open our mouth, for one thing,” I offered Friedman, adding, “You can’t teach cool.  But, maybe, if you tried thinking before you spoke once in a while, might be a good first step.  I don’t get it.  How does a clueless person like you get to own the press and land the art’s council job?” I asked Friedman.  He never heard a word I said. 
“You guys are tough nuts to crack,” Friedman argued in return. 
“You see, that’s just the point,” Howser scoffed, “we’re not nuts, and we don’t want anyone try to crack us.  How come you don’t get it?”
“Trying to break somebody’s balls is counter to trying to fit in, man.  You need to be cool, talk less and relax, observe more, maybe try enjoying life around you.” 
“Like counting corn rows?”
“No, man, ain’t nothing to do with corn.” 
We were on our first day on the road entering Nebraska, late afternoon and Howser cussed and said to me, “One more word out of that guy and I’m gonna throw him out of this goddamn car.” 
“Well, just don’t try it while I’m driving, OK?”  I offered to drive the entire way, but that got nixed in favor of 200-mile pit stop rotations, one sat or slept in the back seat.  We only stopped for food and gas.  I never saw Howser drive a car before.  The first time he got behind the wheel he set off cautiously like he never had, either.  Howser twice spun off the road while behind the wheel driving through southern Wyoming during a snow storm, once before, and again, right after we stopped for a meal.  You would think you’d get a decent cut of beef in cattle country?  I ordered steak and got a brick and a side of catsup.  I argued but Howser refused to give up the wheel, even after the second spin out had us moving sideways and then trunk forward until we finally slid to a stop.  “Thank God there’s no traffic.” 
“I got it now,” Howser argued. 
“You sure?  That’s what you said last time.  Christ that was wild.  Good thing we’re the only ones on this road.”  We were heading west in white-out conditions, on a straight and abandoned stretch of Interstate 80 driving ass backwards down a junkie’s dream highway devoid of signs or traffic in the dim white light beneath a quickening storm coming up from the far end of a sunset obscuring our view with darkening shades of varying white and gray.  Snow continued to fall and covered all four lanes of raised highway and the fields on either side en wrapped us in a landscape of dim fading white.  I couldn’t stand any more.  I took a Valium, secured my seat belt in the back seat and snoozed right through the next two shifts. 
Friedman woke me from a deep sleep to tell me he won $30 in the casino.  “That’s why you woke me up, just to tell me that?  Why are you such an asshole?”  I looked up and saw we were in a casino hotel parking lot.  I crawled out of the Ford’s compact back seat to stretch my legs and use the casino restroom, and wash my face.  We made two brief stops along the way for Friedman and Howser to hawk their books, one in Denver and the other I had no idea where we were, some college town bookstore back room scene.  Four people showed up and our host invited me to read, as long as I was there, and since we were, apparently, the only act in town.  By the time we got to our final destination on the coast the fog was in, the night was cold, Friedman looked weary and tired, and Howser looked worse having run out of drugs and needed a beer.  Unlike my two companions, I felt refreshed, well rested, full of energy and ready to have some fun. 
We read at the Bolinas bookstore.  Lewis McAdams was there, along with Joanne Kyger, of the original beat poet west coast scene, Joe Safdie and his two wives, past and present, the artists, Arthur and Simone Okamura, and Charlie Ross and his Smithereens Press gang all cozied into the tight spaced, small book store emporium to hear us read our poems.  Friedman gesticulated wildly a poem about hats for ten minutes, Howser read some magic from the crypt, a dead man embracing darkness, and I closed with Some Auld Lang Sine.  Afterwards, we went down the street to Smiley’s Saloon for drinks, a 9-ball table, and dancing to a live rock band. 
The next day, I woke up in an unheated, damp, chilly house, with a warm, pretty dark-haired girl I danced with the night before.  The band played a slow blues to end the last set.  I held her in my arms and bit her ear.  She smiled and offered to take me home.  Friedman had arranged for us to stay in the city so I told them to go ahead and I’d meet up with them tomorrow.  Richard gave me the address in the Richmond District of San Francisco, then added, “If you’re not there by 3 pm we’re leaving without you.”
“Ya, don’t you dare.  I’ll be there.” 
She never told me her name nor did I ask, nor did she ask me mine, or maybe we did and I forgot.  We left the bar and walked up the street in the coastal fog until we came to a path cut into tall grass and over-grown bramble and lilies, and followed the trail a few hundred feet to a darkened house where we entered through a rear unlocked sliding glass door.  She was the house sitting the residence.  She explained there were no lights.  The power was off.  Apparently, as part of the deal to the house sitter, the owners of the property preferred the premises kept without power and gas while they were away.  Or, we were trespassing.  I didn’t care.  Bolinas really is in the middle of nowhere.  It’s a cool artist town.  I’m there for a night, and either way it felt good to take a break from my edgy traveling companions, and have this woman and a bed to stretch out in.  Bolinas had a homey, lived-in feel, or was it the funky sheets, and mildew? 
So many birds to wake you in the morning.  I got up and took a cold shower.  She said she preferred showering in the afternoons when it was warmer, and I didn’t blame her one bit, but I knew it would be days before I had another opportunity, so I jumped in cold water, or not.  Bolinas was little more than two streets that met between the coast and The Bolinas Lagoon, but there is a hotel downtown.  We had breakfast at the Bolinas Hotel outdoors on their cafe patio.  I still didn’t know her name and felt embarrassed to ask so I didn’t.  I took my last sip of coffee, said good bye, and rose from our table, stepped off the wooden planked veranda onto the gravel paved road that served as Main Street and stuck out my thumb.  The first car to come by stopped and picked me up, an old VW bug with no back seat.  We took the road up over Mt. Tamalpais and crossed the Golden Gate Bridge into San Francisco.  The friendly driver was going my way and offered to take me down 19th Avenue to the Richmond District in San Francisco where I met up with Howser and Friedman for the ride back home. 
And now, I had the poet-in-residence job and Howser didn’t.  A week after the incident at Pauli Pratt’s flat, Friedman approached me downtown at the office with a deal.  If I would agree to be responsible for Howser he’d hire him. 
“What do you mean, responsible for Howser?” I asked. 
“Keep an eye on him.  Make sure he’s where he’s supposed to be.  If you’re willing to take responsibility for Howser I’ll hire him,” he repeated. 
 “I don’t think so,” I said.  I didn’t want any part of it.  “Howser can take care of himself.  He don’t need me.  But, you should hire Howser if that’s what you want to do.  But, don’t ask me to do your job.  I have my own responsibilities.  And besides, you know Howser.  He’s a full-grown man.  He always shows up where he’s supposed to be.”  And, that was that.  I might have agreed and secured Howser the job on the spot, despite the incident at Pauli Pratt’s flat, had Howser not burglarized my apartment over the weekend while I was tending bar down the street.  Like the cop said, “It’s always someone you know.”  I can forgive a threat, people have bad days, but breaking and entering my apartment and stealing my shit is a no. 
I never heard what happened to Howser after that.  I never saw him again.       



                                                                     

                                                           ***






The Day I Fell From a Tree, From Quail Bell Magazine.com 


The day I fell out of a tree,

the day I hit the ground stumbling,

the day I made it home broken,

damaged but alive, was

unlike any other day.

I climbed that tree many times,

a huge weeping willow tree meant for climbing,

I passed everyday on my way home from school

taking a shortcut thru a field.

I built a tree house in that weeping willow tree

without a nail, using only my pocket knife to cut

long willow whips I weaved

thru branches to create a wicker floor. 

The day I found my tree house destroyed.

For what reason?  And then, couldn’t

figure out again how I built what had been destroyed. 

I fell right handed.

I came down on my right side hitting a heavy bough

that broke my fall.

I had the whole summer to recover from

internal bleeding, and a pain in my side.

I couldn’t believe how fast I hit the ground.

Falling occurs boom just that quick.

The day I curled up

on my mother’s long blue sofa in the living room

until my mother asked me what happened,

and turned and left without a word

when I told her.

I was alright.

I fell out of a tree.

I was 8 years old, barely taller than a

chimpanzee

when I learned why mankind

came down from the trees. 

He got tired of falling.  




                                                                  
  

                                                                

                                                                    ***


The Day Summer Arrived, published at formerpeople.wordpress.com/2018/06/05


It’s Tuesday, $5.50 day at the Downtown Alameda Cineplex,
But I’m not going.  It’s too nice outside.
The family of crows nesting in the tall cypress
Towering over the west end of the garden,
Have grown large in number over the years, from the original couple
And their first hatchling to the current flock of seven
Blackbirds in a tree, never adding more than one chick per season
To their prospering clan, a noisy bunch.  They all participate
Bringing up baby, who remarkably appears full grown
Before it can feed itself or fly.  And, even after
Plays the child begging all day for loose change and scraps from its elders.    
Crows eat anything.  They eat berries, seeds and nuts,
Hunt spiders and bugs that fall from the trees
Onto the rooftops and hide between the cracks
Between tar and tiles where they cobble webs, or crows will
Pick off ants streaming by in the trees. 
Not wormers like robins who work the soil for
Immediate gratification, but more like scavengers
Working the mall two blocks south, and
Know a good deal when they see one, just like me.
There is a fresh breeze coming in off the bay.
Summer arrived yesterday, on Memorial Day, exactly as planned.
We are Almanac.  The skies are clear
After a long month of gray, and the sparkling blue afternoon
Light makes the leaves get up and dance on their edges, glitter
And shine welcome.  The new neighbors next door
Dress like school kids carrying book backpacks
Wherever they go, run up and down the stairs
Doing laundry every day, and walk their cat on a leash. 
The kitchen faucet drips, but I don’t care. 
The last one did, too.  




                                                                   ***



Pope Culture, 3 poems Published by Contribute Chaos, Art of the Spoken Word at www.contributechaos.com

Goethe said, “Life is the infancy of eternity.”  And, Pope Francis recently suggested that hell doesn’t exist, only heaven and earth exist, and when you die you either go to heaven or you disappear forever.  In other words, you are not born with an immortal soul.  Immortality comes later, to be determined by a personal god for your good work.  You are born with a soul but immortality is a gift, not a birthright, a reward for a lifetime of service to God, the church, prayer and righteous behavior to your fellow man.  No gimmies or outliers allowed, saints not included.  You get one chance to get it right, so get serious about your future, if you want one, and fast, or prepare to beg Almighty God to forgive you for your mistakes come judgement day.  Best to prepare to beg either way.  Don’t stop praying until you get to heaven.  Though, not much is said once passed, having received your immortality.  

If the Buddhists are right about the nature of life and reincarnation, in particular, and we die only to be reborn again, over and over until we get it right, then the world is basically a half-way house for failures who keep trying without success, working the revolving door of evolution, the carousel for lost souls in a world over-populated by those who keep trying, quit, or no longer cared?  Can all souls be old souls?  Sure, why not?  But, old compared to what? 

I, for one, am open to the Pope’s recent revelation, there is no hell.  Why not?  You can find all the misery and hell you want on earth without having to go somewhere else.  Life is not so static, and perhaps the pope and the Buddhists are both right when it comes to religion and all things dogmatic.  You design heaven and hell to suit yourself.  In my heart I believe the purpose of life is to evolve.  What are you doing?  Evolving.  And when you die your soul goes to heaven to reflect on your achievements while alive on Earth, under God’s glorious light.  You take your poems with you, as Carl Jung, the famous psychologist, once wrote in his autobiography.  

But, first you must evolve, and in order to evolve you must live, therefore we are born to live and evolve.  From the moment of conception until the day we die, we live and grow in every way; bigger and stronger, weaker and wiser, lesser and more capable than before.  We are given to grow and evolve into better, more complex creatures, than who we were. 

Heaven may be divine, but if heaven truly satisfied, one would think we’d choose to stay there, given the choice was ours to make.  But instead, we are reborn and pray to God for mercy we survive, despite having an immortal soul from last time, or the time before.  Reborn blind and helpless, dumb and hungry.  The opposite of hunger is creation.  When not creating I go mad from hunger.  We are born to create and recreate the landscape, to make a better world than we are given, to improve our lives and strive for perfection.  Fear of failure and preachers of fear create the obstacles.  And yet, fear is real, and caution is advised, for what to fear in life multiplies. 

 



                                                               ***



Black Market Genesis


On the 8th day,

God returned to Earth

because He decided

to cover man with hair.

So, what did man do? 

He shaved it off.

 

On the 9th day,

God checked into a psycho ward

because the way He saw it,

if He could see it

then it must be true. 

 

By the time He

let himself out

He forgot

what He was in for.

 

What happened to those days?

Not even God knows

so don’t feel bad.  






  
                                                               ***


Who Would Have Shrunk It?            
                                                                                               

            My brother, Jerry, bowls in a league Tuesday nights 30 minutes from his house, and often calls me en route to talk.   He was telling me he recently had to change doctors.  “My old doctor retired so I had to choose a new one.  I made an appointment and went in yesterday to get acquainted, and when the nurse took my vitals it turns out I’m 5’3 1/2”, which means I shrunk an inch and a half!  I don’t get it.  How can I shrink with all the yoga stretching I do?” 
A couple of weeks earlier he was telling me his buddy, Ron, who he’s been bowling with on the same team for 30 years, complained he shrunk 2 inches, and now none of his clothes fit him anymore.  But, my brother didn’t think so, and made the point with his friend, offering, “You look the same to me.” 
I had a hard time understanding that and argued, “How can Ron shrink 2 inches and you not notice?  People don’t shrink.  If someone shrinks 2 inches you’d notice because that’s not normal.  People grow tall.  They can get fat or thin, but people don’t modulate between short and tall.” 
“I don’t know,” Jerry insisted, “he looks the same to me.  Maybe I didn’t notice because I shrunk, too, so from my perspective nothing changed.  Still, I don’t like the idea of shrinking,” he complained.  “Smaller ain’t better, especially when you’re only 5’5” to begin with.”  
I told my brother, “It’s because you’re too cheap to buy HDTV,” I said, continuing a long time jab.  My brother will spend money for cable TV and HBO, but not HD.  And, without high definition his picture is distorted and stretched wide leaving the broadcast images he sees shorter and wider than normal.  “You are what you eat, as they say.  Staring at wide short people all day on TV made you shorter and wider.  Upgrade to HD and see if that helps,” I offered. 
“Maybe,” Jerry said.  “I might get a second opinion.”




                                                              ***


Bree, 2 poems appearing in Soft Cartel Magazine, at softcartelmag.com.  


She would have been 38. 

“All of my friends are suicides,” she argued,

as if that made her’s more legitimate, gain value, an

asset she could bank on, like an annuity,

a hand-me-down insurance policy acquired for free,

a tangible commodity she could count on.

 

She always used the future possessive tense, as in “my suicide.” 

At least she said goodbye.

She’d rather die than quit drinking and smoking tobacco,

and did.  A year later, they found a cure for what ailed her.

“See you next time?”  “When is that?” I asked.  She never replied.

 

And then, there was that other thing, her,

not me, in love, driven crazy

because he wouldn’t give it up for her

like she wanted him to.

She couldn’t trust the poet lawyer from Louisville

she left her husband for, back in Cleveland Heights,

without alerting him first she was coming. 

“I’m sorry?  What?”  Kentucky southern charm, old money,

and how he got his job, and she

was living on creativity, and SSD. 

 

He wanted to be    wanted     from a distance.

She was an artist, totally committed, and

could write like he only wished he could. 

 

And, because he was physically a large man,

three times her size, and

bigger than she could wrap her two hands around,

he inspired her.  



                                                               ***



Song of Exile, Migration Trail


Across an ocean of water, two oceans of land,
One wave travels over sand.  I, of the broken wave,
With hooves dug in, a stampede of legs and
Gas stations, bare feet and boots stuck in mud
And painted snow, chained to wheels,
Step by step without a plan,
Other than freedom to run, blend in, take a stand.

On a boat, watch your mouth.  On a train, speak out,
Offer to compromise.  Anxious as a torn tribal band. 
Did you do well while alive?  Sir, how many
Generations must one live in one place to feel at home there,
At long last?  In this life?  Maybe if I concentrate. 

Freedom to fall out of a tree and
Survive a full planet gravity body blow and live
To spawn in the Promised Land.  I, of the lucky guy, 
A puffed victory smoke and my ancient run is done. 

When you arrive you want your journey back. 
3rd generation to set foot,
Grabbed up the soil and held it in my hand. 
At the end of the road is a river.  Place my stone there.  



                                                            ***


An April fool, in January, Appearing in Star 82 Review, athttp://www.star82review.com/6.1/contents.html

Spring came early this year, or

I’m an April fool in January.

Spring normally arrives in February

in the bay.

 

All my neighbors are about today, the titmice

in the fir pine right of my balcony,

disappear in the excellent camouflage

like fur balls on a fur pine.

 

The mourning doves in the branches below

feast on an endless stream of breakfast ants.

 

The doves have relocated around the corner,

in the secure confines of a dense towering cedar tree

left of my bedroom window. 

 

The loud crow family live in the top branches

of the king cypress facing west towards the bay,

across the yard, and have been there

long before I moved in fifteen years ago, no doubt.

 

But, no birds nest in the magnolia tree

fronting my balcony,

where twice I’ve seen red-tailed hawks

take doves.  I’ve seen the same hawk

feed on house sparrows nesting

above the cat line in the mulberry bushes

that borders this 95 unit, two story square city block

apartment complex, but not today.

 

Today, the hawks sleep, the monarch

butterflies dance in the warm ocean breezes

that smell like summer,

and signals what I’ve grown to expect of

spring arriving in February.  



                                                        ***



Buying Myself Gifts for Xmas, Appearing in Ariel Chart, Dec. Issue 2017, see Arielchart@blogspot.com

I don’t need them,

but what am I supposed to do,

turn myself down?

 

Maybe I should call them

birthday gifts.  A new denim

shirt, (pre-faded),

to replace an old one I

never liked much,

and never faded.

 

A new Sail Rigger jacket from

Land’s End, like my favorite

jacket I bought for $30,

is on sale again,

so I bought two more,

one in true navy, and the other

in raincoat yellow.

 

I saw the yellow jacket

advertised under a private label

for $300. 

 

A gray baseball style jacket

sweatshirt,

instead of a hoodie. 

 

I could be dead

before I wear any of them.

Burial clothes.

 

I am surrounded by stuff. 

Too much stuff.

OK, I’ll make myself a deal.

I’ll accept gifts I don’t need from myself

if I agree to throw some things away. 

 

Cool.  No problem.

Those gifts

from last year, and

seasons past, never worn,

will now have renewed purpose.  



                                                             ***


                                                                   


Conversation with a Dove, Appeared in Peacock Review, (peacockreview.com)



I was in the kitchen washing dishes

when I noticed a dove fly onto my balcony.

Their nest is in the rafters

on the other side of the dining room window

and makes me wonder if she crashed

into the patio door screen

and bounced off.  Either way, she ended up

on a potted plant and seemed OK, except

she wasn’t moving, so I walked over and took

a closer look.

 

My presence at the glass patio door didn’t alarm her

so I slid open the door and gave her a soft whistle hello.

She stood there looking at me.

I slid open the screen door and still she didn’t fly off,

rather she stood shifting her feet

trying to focus her eyes on me.

 

She appeared to be molting. 

She had light gray feathers with

round black and white markings on her wings,

typical mourning dove. 

 

Then, she gave me a low, quiet,

inquisitive whistle back, a “You-who?” 

I whistled her a “You-who?” back.

She seemed so amazed and got excited,

and spun around in the dirt.  I waited

for her to whistle again, and then gave her a low,

soft call,

and this time she rustled her feathers,

pulled up her skirt,

danced a jig in the dirt spinning around,

and called to me again. 

 

This went on, back and forth, for some time,

until we both got tired and ran out of things to say.   

And then, we bid farewell, let’s talk again someday,

good-bye, and off she flew,

and I went back to washing dishes. 

 

A few seconds later, she landed on my windowsill

above my kitchen sink where I worked, tapped

on the screen, and whistled, “You-who?”

I whistled back.  She bobbed her head, yes,

she recognized me through the window,

and made us both smile. 

And then, she said farewell again, goodnight,

and flew off. 

I have a very cool neighbor.  


                                                                   ***



The Road to Pleasanton, 2 poems published in Creating Chaos Magazine, at creatingchaos.com


My writing community

has broken down.

So many have died,

grown old, gone mad,

lame, stupid, lazy, tired,

and stopped showing up.

 

Someone else died.

They found his body

on a BART train

heading to Pleasanton.

Why he was on that train

nobody knows.

Perhaps, he had no place

to sleep and

Pleasanton seemed like

a nice place to die.

 

We used to meet at my place,

drink beer, wine and whiskey,

share drugs, weed, hashish,

cigarettes, everyone talking

and laughing at the same time

wildly into the night.

 

Today, I sit here alone

on the coast,

and the rains continue

without end.

 

My writing community

has broken down,

vanished, disappeared. 

 

Yet, I still sit here

scribbling works

to the beat

of the rain falling

on my windowpane.

I miss the thunder.  




  
This Other War 


A rush of Nuevo Bacterioso rippled through my intestines causing my body to revolt, tremble out of control.  First came the dry heaves, felt my life about to pass, but not before my eyes, and I felt weak and fell down on the bathroom floor waiting for the poison to work its way through my system.  What appeared to be ripe cherries shipped north from Chile turned out to be a message of vitriol from someone who wants to kill me.  Horses don’t piss on cherries, underpaid farm workers do because they hate us for importing produce cheaper than they can pick them.  That’s how much they hate us.  Or, maybe it was their field boss who poisoned the Bing cherries.  Maybe he is the one who hates us.  He might have been a decent guy once, just a regular guy who worked hard and loved his family and friends.  Before he took the foreman job, crew leader and big asshole paid to talk shit like the boss talks shit to his co-workers, who were once his friends and brothers.  He wasn’t even the most productive guy, not even close, just a little taller than most, and who always had a big smile for the boss.  Still, he worked hard for his money, like everyone else.  Only now he does it for a little more money and has no friends, so maybe he takes it out on me, fucking Los Americanos.  He used the unfiltered water to hose down this produce.  He used the less expensive local tap instead to send his season’s greetings with love from your friend down south, and curses, on top of their cheap, imported, out of season, Chilean grown, fancy, and very sweet, Bing Cherries. 



                                                                  ***



The Restless, From Forage Magazine, at forage.com

The baby, Mia, is crying on the balcony

next door across from mine.

I can imagine how she feels.

Today is the first warm day of her life.

She pulls at her stiff, thick new baby clothes

trying to get comfortable

while strapped into a plastic highchair

like a mental patient. 

 

The washing machines in the laundry room

below her balcony, stopped churning,

and silence graced the air.  My nerves

also eased with the quieting, and I leaned back

and relaxed on my redwood lounge chair on my balcony

surrounded by potted plants, neighbors and trees.

 

And then, one by one, I hear the birds call out,

the hummingbirds clicking,

hovering before me, picking fruit

flies out of sun shafts in mid-air, the

ducks quacking in the pool,

the mourning doves cooed, gulls

screeched, blackbirds cawed,

passing geese honked, a

woodpecker working the magnolia tree

pecked his life away, and the red headed male

house sparrows gathering twigs to nest with

their brides to be, while their impatient mates

stood aside inspecting the construction, singing,

and egging them on. 

 

A red-tailed hawk sprang up

from the stone pond planted

in the far corner of the yard surprising me,

slipped beneath cover of the magnolia

tree and settled on a low branch

of the fir pine, shook

water from its outstretched wing. 

 

The mallards in the pool were discussing the hawk.

Baby Mia stopped crying to listen. 

A passenger jet flew overhead

leaving its trail of bile and

industrial soot in its wake.  Once passed,

the kids playing in the schoolyard blocks away

could be heard again. 

 

Mia’s mother spoke.  Something smelled good

baking in her oven. 

 

Another tenant, dressed in her Sunday best,

and pretty as a new tattoo,

came bearing her dirty laundry

in a wicker basket shaped like a shoe,

and stood feeding tribute quarters

to the washing machines below. 

 

The noise returned. 

Baby Mia began crying again.

Poor kid.  I got up

walked back inside, and slid closed

the balcony’s sliding glass door. 

 





                                                                 ***




                                                         Old Information






“For Me There Will Always Be An Underground.” Green Panda Press Interviews Al Simmons,
 (first viewed on effitsundy.blogspot.com).  Check out a new poem at https://leastbitternbooks.wordpress.com/


Bree: u’ve met and mingled with so many respected poets—got any good remnants?


Al: I just remembered how I met Jack Michelin. It was 1982. I was new in SF and staying with friends. One day I was hanging out and ducked into a gallery opening for a free glass of wine and a piece of cheese and ended up buying a small stone sculpture from Jack Michelin. It was the face of a woman cut out of soapstone. I recognized Jack from a reading. I told him I liked his work but the last thing I needed at the moment was another rock to weigh me down. I didn't have a place to stay let alone hang his art. But he talked me into it. I wrapped it in a towel and hid it in the back seat of my car until I found a place to settle into. I used to hang it on a big weeping willow tree in the backyard. Now it's in a box. I just remembered where I got it. I wonder if it's worth any money?


B: take it out of that box! any j-hole will buy that from u—i think they’d buy his old dirty socks! but u still got a tree, i’d bet. well, so is there a particular contemporary poem or collection that u revere/left its mark on u?


Al: Ed Dorn’s Gunslinger is still the best poem of the 20th century. Something a lot of people don’t know, Ed Dorn wrote books 3 & 4 of Gunslinger in Chicago. I was studying with him during those two years. Ed published each book separately as he wrote them. Book Three, The Cycle broke the 5 x 7 format of books one and two by publishing book three in 10 x 12 inch size pages in bold print and full color. There was a character introduced in book three called Al, who looked a lot like me then. He had a belt buckle with the name AL printed on it. From Gunslinger: The Cycle, The I.D. Runs the Actual Furnishings, verse 19:


Below his right ear is the brand
The cuneiform form of Man and God
And these were the signs of his predicament.


I told Ed I thought that mark was a birthmark. But the truth is it was a hickey I was given by Rhea Hoffman who was 13 years old. I was 12. And it never went away, so maybe I was kissed by a goddess? She looked like a goddess at the time.

Studying with Ed Dorn was quite an initiation. I asked Ed why he made the print of the Cycle (first edition) so large? He said, so I could read it. He was a funny guy. He told me this in his kitchen, at the old 911 Club, the original 911 Club, 911 Diversey Avenue in Chicago, where Ed and Jenny lived while Ed presided over the writing program at Northeastern Illinois University on the northwest side of Chicago, where I was enrolled as an undergrad.

Being a named character in the greatest poem of the 20th Century is a nice credit. There were only four characters in Gunslinger who were introduced under cloak of their own names; Howard Hughes, Rupert Murdoch, Tonto Pronto, and me. Book Four of Gunslinger, The Winter Book was originally titled The Slaukowski Sausage Factory. In retrospect those years turned out to be Ed Dorn’s most productive.


B: i'd like to emphasize that you catalyzed the poetry bouts and poetry fights--you told me the story when we were in Berkeley, and its kind of in yr NYT letter---by the by the poem you sent me in the mail is so killer. it is so wholly your voice--i think that is what makes a poem good; if it is totally the voice of the poet, it cld be on microwaving frozen french fries, or crossing the Rubicon, whatever. it is the voice that matters most. voice carries pov, and this is what we find useful in each other.


Al: Thank you. There was an intellectual framework surrounding the fights. Let me tell you what the world of poetics looked like back in the early 1970's. When Ed Dorn left NEI for a job at Kent State, he replaced himself as poet-in-residence with Ted Berrigan, who at the time was head of the New York School of Poetry. So, I got to be student aide and faculty assistant for Ted Berrigan.

I’ll tell you a story. Ted didn’t know I was on the university payroll for being both his student aid and faculty assistant, and I didn’t tell him until one day after class several months into the semester Ted and I were sitting at the corner bar having a shot and a beer and I confessed. I applied to be Ted’s assistants because I knew he didn’t need any. He gave no assignments, did no research. That was pretty smart, Ted decided, and added, you can buy the next round. And then Ted borrowed $5. Ted always paid you back on payday when he cashed his check.

I guess you can say I was lucky, first to study with Ed Dorn and then Ted Berrigan, two of the top three poets of the second half of the 20th Century. You can say I had my share of rarified air. Ted Berrigan was 36 years old when Dorn brought him in to Chicago. Ted died young, at age 47. But, during the ten years that I knew Ted we became good friends, and I got to watch Ted develop from the head of the NY School of Poetry into a Master Poet. Ted grew larger than the scene. Hanging out with Ted was like seeing your best friend turn into Socrates. I was a man of great fortune and witness.

There were basically four schools of poetry being practiced in the 50s thru the turn of the century, and beyond. There were the academics, The Black Mountain School, The New York School and The Beats. I wasn’t interested in 15th century Italian sonnets so I passed on the academics. The Black Mountain School was Charles Olson, who invented Projective Verse and open field poetry as a meter into free verse. He gathered the teachings of Ezra Pound and William Carlos Williams and brought them a step further. Teaching at Black Mountain with Olson was Robert Creeley and Robert Duncan. Ed Dorn was Olson’s student, favorite son, and 20 years later I studied with Dorn.

The Beats were mostly criminals, drug addicts, thieves, sexual predators and perverts. William Burroughs was a junky, a pedophile, and a murderer. He killed his wife. He shot her between the eyes with a rifle attempting to shoot an apple off the top of her head. Gregory Corso spent the better half of his youth incarcerated. Neal Cassidy was a car thief and a speed freak. Ginsburg was a pervert and Jack Kerouac was a bum, the Dharma Bum, who loved speed, beer, and chasing women and good times. Jack Kerouac was the writer. As Gregory Corso put it, “Kerouac made us all.” The Beats were bohemians and cultural revolutionists and are credited for a lot of bad poetry and starting the sexual revolution.

The New York School was somewhere in between. They were constructionists, though some called them de-constructivists. Ted’s favorite topic for lecturing was how he wrote poetry. I spent years listening to how Ted “made” poems. The NYS were better dressed than the Beats. They had Masters degrees, came from middle class families. But, to me they were all Beats. They all experimented with the same American idiom. Dorn ran with Kerouac. Berrigan introduced me to Anselm Hollo, Alice Notley, of course, Ted's wife, Allen Ginsburg, Phil Whalen. Everyone knew and supported everyone else...for the most part. Writers are and have always been competitive. Each had their own distinctive voice and style and that was the key, being your own person and having your own presence and style.

If you wanted to hang out with the giants you had to have your own voice. That was the rule. If you read a poem that sounded like someone else you either dedicated that poem or you would be called out and hauled off the stage. Maybe the hauling off the stage part was an early Chicago thing. What I was interested in back then was a Chicago sound, a Chicago School. Performance Art was a product of those early experiments in Chicago and we sometimes referred to Performance Art as Chicago School. By developing the poetry fights I captured a competitive spirit of the time and gave it a presence in literary form. I built the stage and wrote the rules. I was the Commissioner of the World Poetry Association and the World Poetry Bout Association, WPA/WPBA. Steve Rose, the world’s greatest ring announcer, introduced me as the intellectual godfather of the Taos Poetry Circus, in Taos, New Mexico, where we held the Main Event World Heavyweight Championship Poetry Bouts every summer for 20 years, from 1982-2002. I began the show. Now they call it The Spoken Word Movement. I’m a footnote in history.

As Ed Dorn once wrote:


“Once I lost my keys
and couldn’t get in
Once I lost my knees
and couldn’t get down
Once I lost my face
and couldn’t frown
But I’ve never lost my place
and that’s why dig it
I’m still around.”



The Main Event, a ten round heavyweight championship poetry bout, was invitational, based on a traditional reading, two poets, an opening act and a featured poet, each reads for thirty minutes. The slam is a competitive literary event based on an open reading, whoever shows up. Somehow the slam morphed into more of a community event rather than an individual’s art, drifting away from rule #1, having one’s own voice. That’s the rap on the slam since the beginning, actually. I have no problem with the slam. It’s an open reading. As far as I’m concerned I’m happy the slam is held to any standard. And look at how the slam has proliferated? I understand slams are now being held in 80 cities across the country. On the other hand The Main Event features the best of the best, always had and always will. Anyone can write a poem, but how many people can write ten?


B: How many poems have you written this past year?

Al: About 300.

B: That’s a lot of poems.

Al: I had a good year.

B: Are your poems available?

Al: Yes. Memoirs Of The Man Who Slept His Life Away, new poems, Special Edition, Books I - V, 150 poems, 271 pages, 43K words, $35.00, (includes tax and shipping). Send cash, money order or check to: Al Simmons, Simmonsink, 420 Whitehall Road, Unit F, Alameda, CA 94501. I can be emailed at alsimmons@sbcglobal.net.


B: hey, way to get a plug in! i’ll wrap us up with that goodie you mailed, and here’s hoping this one makes it in that collection.


                                                                ***


Almost Never


I get lazier every day.
Doing nothing is the best.

OK, there’s the ocean. I’ve
Seen it. Now what?
You tell me, cuz. Now
Nothing.

Lazy is good company.
Sunshine and enough
To eat helps.

Living off the land means
Fleecing those who graze.

Fleece or be fleeced.
Land of the fleeced,
Home of the flossed.

Other than my health
I’m fine.

I don’t know where I get
This stuff, but
For some reason I think
All I have to do
Is write a poem or two a day
And I’m good, I’m
A happy guy.

End of story.



                                                                    ***




Books Available by Al Simmons:



Memoirs of the Man Who Slept His Life Away, new poems, 160 poems, 300 pages, $35, includes tax and delivery. 

"Pure vernacular. I read the whole book. Not in the last 100 years have I just read a book of poetry all the way through. It's like being in Chicago by Henry Miller, cf The Tropic of Capricorn, the way work is in the US, only this time from Chicago. And then the sex, which is the way it is in the US." --Charles Potts, Tsunami Press


“Try to make one word at a time, one word with perfect posture. No show boater words or perfumed words. No meek hovelling words. I mean fuck all these sentences. One. One. One, (not three).” --Bree, Green Panda Press








                                                                               ***


                                        


KING BLUE, Boogie Till The Roof Caves In, Stories of Chicago's Kingston Mines, the largest showcase blues club in the world, with photographs by D. Shigley. 129 pages, $20, includes tax and shipping.

"So lucid, fine, humorous and humane is Al Simmons' book, Boogie Till The Roof Caves In, that all one can say is: Thanks. And also wish that Mr. Simmons might write another book about more--if not all--of the scenes happening in our city." Paul Carroll, Publisher Big Table Press, Chicago Reader.

Send cash, checks or money orders to Al Simmons, Simmonsink, 420 Whitehall Road, Unit F, Alameda, CA 94501.


                                                                 

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